


Why use a shovel when you've got acid and a bath tub?

by Ebonyheart



Series: I'm Still Standing, But I Won't Stand Still [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (not really) - Freeform, Author Is Sleep Deprived, BAMF Darcy Lewis, BAMF Nick Fury, Epic tag, F/M, He is trusting and eager, M/M, Midgardian customs, No Sympathy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poor Tony Stark, Shovel Talk, The Author Regrets Everything, Thor Is Not Stupid, Trololololololololololo, as in the game of tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-06-01 19:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6532651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ebonyheart/pseuds/Ebonyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy has a lucrative side job, which leads to hilarious conversations, and Thor being turned into a frog until further notice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arianapeterson19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/gifts).



> This is a load or crack, turn back now if it bothers you. If it doesn't, then welcome to the dark side, and enjoy the cookies.

Fury counted it a miracle that he hadn't had an aneurysm yet between baby agents needing to be paper trained, budgeting, and the Avengers. Speaking of his almost constant headache, he was on his way to yell at them for missing a meeting on the helicarrier but, judging by the fact that he could hear them in the supposedly soundproof elevators ("I'm enjoying that even more than the new arm," "BUCKY!"), he was probably going to have to reschedule that in order to deal with whatever mess was waiting for him. JARVIS, being the little shit that he was, played a loud bell tone as the doors opened, and everyone froze in place, except for Natasha (cleaning her nails), Bruce (enjoying his chai), and Clint (who was still laughing in the vents).

"Could someone _please_ tell me what the hell is going on here?" Fury ground out. Before anyone could answer, the common floor tv turned on showing security footage from this morning.

~THISISALINEBREAK~

*11:00am Avenger's Tower, common floor*

Thor was quickly adapting to Midgardian culture, but some things still baffled him. For instance, he did not know if it was customary to sit on the couch and cackle while looking at one's phone. Considering the company he kept, he was beginning to realize that he might be better off not relying on his shield brothers and sisters to be benchmarks for normality. Still, Darcy ("If you put 'the Lady' in front of my name one more time, I'll tell Natasha what happened to her pastry. Seriously, gender confirmed.") was behaving too oddly for him to ignore.

"Friend Darcy, are you well?" If Thor seemed hesitant to get involved in... whatever havoc Darcy would reek upon the tower, only Heimdal would know.

"Hm? Hey point break, just doing a little business on the side. You ever heard of the shovel talk?" Her smile was equal parts mischief and madness when he nodded no, but he had seen worse from Loki when they were children.

"Well, the shovel talk is a midgardian custom centered around couples. Basically, when someone enters a relationship, their family and friends take turns guaranteeing that their partner knows exactly what will happen if they screw things up. My side job is a lot of fun, because I help people come up with unique and creative ones for every situation. I only charge $2, but the entertainment is more than worth it."

"I do not understand... If one feels the need to threaten their loved one's partner, then should they not encourage them to dissolve the relationship?" Darcy's face scrunched up as she thought about it.

"Well, on Earth at least, we don't live much longer than a century at most, and we are considered adults anywhere from ages 14-18 in most cultures. It used to be that your family picked out your partner and that was it, no other options, but now, a lot of people can date, sleep with, and marry almost whoever they want. While you can try to sway their opinion, you can't make someone break it off unless they're kids and you're one of their parents. You following me so far?"

"Yes, but I still do not understand why the threats are necessary." Thor's frown of confusion deepened.

"I'm getting to that," she placated. "Ok, so as odd as it sounds, the shovel isn't just about scaring the piss out of someone you don't want dating your family. It is also a way of expressing that you love someone enough to go to the ends of the earth for them, and, it can also be a round about method of giving approval. It's almost like you're saying, 'I like you enough that I'll only maim you if you hurt them, not just because you think you're good enough for them'." Thor was beginning to understand, but one thing still baffled him.

"Why not just tell them that you approve?"

"Because some people are so emotionally constipated that feels give them indigestion. Think of threatening people they like as fiber necessary for the shit show to keep moving."

"Oh that's just gross!" someone screamed from the vents. If he had not already gotten used to Clint nesting ("I'm not a damn bird!" "Whatever, just don't line your nest with hair, it's unhygen- OWW! Pepper that hurt!"), then Mjolnir would have gone flying. As it was, the coffers were still rather light after the Lady Jane helped friend Tony send a bill to Asgard for all the repairs necessary during their first month in the tower.

"Seriously Darcy, did you have to say it like that? I know it’s accurate, but now I'm going to think of this every time Fury starts yelling at us. You've just made my life infinitely harder." The smile on his face when he stuck his head out of the vent nade it seem like much less of a hardship than he described it as.

"Nobody told you to listen in bird brain, so bite me. Did you get the shovel talk for Laura?"

"Yes, and I was equal parts relieved and terrified: relieved because I knew that one less person would try to kill me on principal, and terrified because I didn't know you could even do that with crisco and a curling iron. Her mom is perhaps the scariest woman I've ever met, and I'm glad my kids are learning from her."

"Scarrier than Nat and Hill?"

"Darcy, they were bridesmaids at my wedding, and that woman gang pressed them into cooking, getting the dresses done, and setting up the venue. Coulson checked to see if we had been drugged when she managed to make Fury change into something other than his uniform to officiate the ceremony, and then got him to SMILE in the pictures."

"You're shiting me."

"I'm dead serious, and it was such a normal one that I didn't know if I should laugh or be more scared."

"Copies. I need copies, asap." Darcy's eyes almost glowed with evil energy at the thought of what she could do with that picture.

"Nope, I enjoy only having two places to breathe from, and Fury happens to have the keys to my house," Clint stated as firmly as possible. "I'm morbidly curious though as to why you're teaching Thor about giving someone the shovel talk, and I say morbidly because I think there's a chance that it could result in my wife learning that SHIELD's death benefits are better than Google's."

"Calm down you big purple pigeon, it's not that big a deal. I just realized that Tony has yet to be indoctrinated, and it's just not kosher to break tradition."

"I'm going to exempt you from joining the 'arrow to the face' club for calling me a pigeon only because that is an awesome idea, and Tony should not miss out on this under any circumstances," deadpanned Clint. "God knows I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on my mother-in-law's version. One day, she had me set the table while she deboned a chicken and, looking me dead in the eyes, mentioned that it would be a shame if I couldn't give her grandkids because of an accident, but that Laura would be taken care of." Clint gulped at the memory, "I made sure she knew that was the best chicken salad I've ever had and, ever since then, I've managed to keep little Clint attached by fixing whatever I mess up whenever she asks if I'd like to have her special recipe for lunch." And if he thought it was impressive to note that he had managed not to shit himself at the thought of that sweet old lady going terminator on his ass, he kept the thought to himself.

"That tale is both impressive and terrifying. I would see if the Lady would wield Mjolnir, but I fear for your life should you ever deign to disappoint her." Thor commented.

"Well, at least the mini-agents will learn about being awesome from a young age," said Darcy, with absolutely no sympathy what so ever. "This just serves as further proof though that the shovel talk is vital to a healthy relationship, because it motivates your partner to do the right thing. If there's a chance that you could help your brother have a better relationship, wouldn’t you do whatever it took?"

"Of course! As sons of Asgard, we are sworn to watch over one and other. If it will help ensure my brother's happiness, then the man of Iron will know of my approval and, just as importantly, the consequences of losing it."

"That's the spirit man!" cried out the tower's resident trolls. If Thor hadn’t already immersed himself in planning his speech, he would have seen the unholy gleam in their eyes and known that he had just sold his soul for a 'kick me' sign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.o You finished it? You read all that crack without giving up? Darcy is proud of you as a person, and it is up to you if that's a good sign. Keep in mind that the next chapter depends heavily upon Tony's discomfort, JARVIS's sense of humor, and the cackling of Darcy and Clint. Also, as it says in the tags, my Thor is not dumb (he'd be easier to write if he was), he's just very trusting and eager, like a 1,000+ year old puppy. Suggestions are awesome, will keep me motivated, and shout-outs will be given if I use them. Speaking of which, go check out Arianapeterson19, her stuff is awesome!!!


	2. Scare Tactics (was cancelled for a reason)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone, who shall not be named, gets a little too hyped up. Their brother feels completely justified about what happens next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild chapter appears! Ahead there be angst (it was not in the master plan, but Tony gets really pissy when people say bad things about Loki, especially about him doing bad things to Loki), feels, and fluff.

*Avengers' Tower, Workshop 11:15am*

If Tony had known that his music was prophetic, he might have been playing "Stairway to Heaven" instead of "Highway to Hell", but hind sight is 20/20, and ACDC beat Led Zeppelin any day. That being said, he was not prepared for the angry god of Thunder that came storming into his workshop, in full battle regalia, looking like he was about to tear the place apart until his eyes zeroed in on the inventor immersed in rewiring his latest suit.

"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!" The clang that Tony's head made on the edge of the table was enough to make Thor wince, but he was on a mission, and it could not be put off.

"Jesus Christ point break, that was so uncalled for!" Tony checked the back of his head for blood and, while his hand came away dry, it had an impressive lump. "What the Hel has your cape in knots, and why in Hel haven't you gone to take it up with whoever caused it?!"

"I would have words with you over a matter that has been long waiting to be addressed. You are the chosen of my brother, correct?" one of JARVIS's subroutines kicked in at this moment to capture all events pertaining to Sir's "WTF face" for future reference ("J, you know you're my favorite for this, right? I'll even leave you chocolate chip cookies." "With all due respect, I would rather you didn't, as I have an idea of where you would look to find them online.").

Tony was now really confused, because this was really not like Thor at all. "If by chosen you mean boyfriend, then yes, and he's mine too. Care to explain why this has you impersonating bilgesnipes when you could just walk in like a normal person?" But of course, his filter only has one setting: snark, and variations there of.

"A prince of two realms, master of all things sorcery, and you deem yourself worthy? I know your ego stretches beyond the nine, but be warned that you will know my wrath should he come to any harm during your union." Thorcould see that the bit about Tony's worthiness and ego were pushing it, but he had crossed the line upon insinuating that he might hurt Loki.

"You know what Sparky, you can take that shit and shove it where the sun don't shine. That is my boyfriend, who is perfectly capable of kicking my ass to Hel and back, so back off! I'd pull out the reactor before I hurt him, and if you ever say otherwise, I will boot you from the goddamn Tower before making sure Jane knows just how much of an asshole you are, got it?" barked Tony, razors flying off his tongue. He didn’t care how pissed off Thor got, because no one was allowed to so much as think that he'd hurt someone he loves!

"Leave the Lady Jane out of this, or so help me I'll- ribbit!" Mjolnir fell with a thunk as Thor was transformed into a frog, with armor shrunken to fit. Unfortunately, his vocal chords were also those of an amphibian, so any protests to his new state were reduced to not-so-venomous croaks and Tony burst into laughter at the sight of Thor waiving his fist while trying to sound threatening.

"Care to explain why I had to change my brother's form? I heard the majority of the argument, but not its beginning or origin," Loki questioned after melting out of the wall. A flick of the wrist had Barton hanging from the vent by his ankles, hands scrabbling for the edge to pull himself back up. "However much my brother is at fault, I am fairly certain that you were the catalist."

"I regret nothing!" Was the only thing they heard before Clint managed to make a clean get away.

"J, which way is Clint headed?" Tony asked. "I think he might've come down with bird flu if he thinks that starting this much drama was a good idea."

"Agent Barton is headed towards the common floor. Shall I initiate bio-hazard protocols and proceed to quarantine him?" Everyone heard the tinge of amusement in JARVIS's voice, which instantly made Tony feel better.

"Delay that until he's on his floor, and make sure Tasha knows not to visit with pastries because stupid is contagious," he ordered off-hand. "I'm thinking 24-hours, outside of an Avengers' alert, should do the trick."

"With pleasure sir."

By this point, Thor was sulking in his new terrarium that Loki had conjured, and said Trickster god was leaning by the door looking rather amused. As the trio made their way down to the common floor, he turned to his inventor with a smug smile.

"I think that was the most round about 'I love you' that has ever been given," he teased. If Tony blushed, then no one would call him on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be the last, and I have plans. If you want to have an idea, then punch the following into rot13.com .
> 
> Ybbx hc Xrl naq Crryr'f ynfg naq svefg rcvfbqr gb trg jung V unir cynaarq.
> 
> Lots of love guys, I'll see you soon (hopefully)!


	3. Oh There Was a Meeting Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tag is played, new connections are made, and there is a reckoning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there will be mention of an OC, Lori. and I'm thinking of introducing her properly in another story within the same universe as this one. Any ideas on how I should do this? When you see how and who she connects with, I'd love to get some opinions.

*11:43am Avenger's Tower, Thor, Jane and Darcy's living room*

"There is a turd in the punch bowl," Clint hissed through the grate of the vent. By now, Darcy had gotten used to voices coming from the ceiling, so she didn't even stop scrolling through the list of requests for assistance. "Repeat, there is a TURD in the PUNCH BOWL," He dropped down next to her, looking around as if it would actually help him spot Loki, "And, since he's already turned his brother into a frog, we're probably next on his list!"

"Calm down, my fine, feathered friend, he's not coming after us." Let it not be said that any fucks were given by Darcy, because she was still busy reading.

"I think you're missing the part where he gets pissed about us making Thor flip out on his boyfriend. Trust me, he is _not_ gonna be happy with us, and I for one would like to avoid him until he's had a chance to blow something up." Clint dialed up the sarcasm, "And, yeah, I think I'd prefer that explosion wasn't anywhere near me either." Darcy huffed out a sigh and tucked her phone away before turning to actually look at Clint with unimpressed-face#2.

"Did we hold a gun to Jane's head and make him hurt Tony's feelings?" At his unimpressed-face#3, she continued. "Well then, not our fault. Loki knows by now that Thor was set up, but it was a joke on the other person's part, and Thor got too into character. He knows that his older brother has trouble translating and matching the difference between Earth and Asgardian culture, because he was actually a lot more sheltered in some ways than Loki ever was. Thor is a lot better at accepting things that are different now, but actually reacting in a completely appropriate fashion to them? Work in progress. Loki might make him a bit uncomfortable so that he knows that he definitely crossed the line, but, since no one was actually blown up, he won't bother with getting revenge when it wasn't ever supposed to be malicious. Tony was anxiously waiting for the shovel talk anyways, so we might even get a thank you for getting it over with." As she got up from the couch and headed towards the elevator, Clint followed while he mulled over what she said.

"That's actually really insightful, and I can't believe no one's ever looked at it that way." The doors closed. "Could you take us to the common floor J? Please and thank you!"

"Of course Agent Barton, it's my pleasure."

"It's not a matter of looking, because I guarantee you that everyone’s looked at something, it's a matter of seeing. I can see what you'd look past because I'm Slytherin's Luna, and you're more Remus the Hufflepuff." An excited squeal came from the ceiling, and Clint had an arrow aimed just in time for Deadpool's eye-smiling head to duck through the safety hatch.

"A fellow Puff! We can be room mates and have sleepovers and why are you still aiming the pointy thing at me when I'm in Hufflepuff too?" Deadpool asked.

"Because there's a mercenary trying to talk me to death, and I'm considering blowing up his head so that he forgets to annoy me." Clint deadpanned. As the elevator door opened, Darcy calmy walked out towards the tv and took a seat, while Clint slowly backed away.

"Wow," Deadpool fell into a handstand on the elevator floor, "somebody doesn't read the company emails." He strolled through the doors while pretending that his feet were walking on the cieling. "I'm joining the team, so we really _can_ have sleepovers and- You have a point White, Vanessa will kill me if I don't bring her nightly mango-cabbage smoothie with crushed peanuts, and no Yellow, I haven't forgotten that I'm immortal. It still hurts, and I'll revive just in time for the crying part of her mood swings. I thought we agreed to prevent- Whoooa birdy with the pointy things, why did you do that?!" Wade shouted from where he had dropped to the floor to avoid an arrow to the butt.

"First, did you not notice that you were still walking towards me? Waaaay too close for comfort. Second, and only slightly more important than my personal space, you have 30 seconds to explain how you got past Jarvis before I redecorate the gym with your brain. Make it fast, I do NOT want another pregnant woman trying to kill me. 30... 29... 28..."

"How'd you know Vanessa was pregnant?"

"Either she's pregnant or has no taste buds, 24... 23..."

"A little help ceiling buddy?!"

"Agent Wilson, I have already explained that I do not live in the ceiling," Jarvis gave his take on an exasperated sigh, but Clint was too busy being floored to make another joke about him turning into a real boy.

"Jarvis, are we talking 'agent orange' kind of agent, or 'SHIELD has lost its mind' kind of agent?" Clint asked.

"To clarify, Agent Wilson is more of a consultant on a trial basis, but he is in fact currently employed by SHIELD. His clearance is case-by-case as well but, as of 10:00 am, he and Agent Parker, codename Spider-man, were given SHIELD employment, along with admission to the Avenger's initiative, which is also on a trial basis. While I am on the subject, Agent Parker should be arriving as of now," Jarvis said, timing it perfectly with the elevator's arrival. The elevator doors opened to a pissed off spider, who looked like he was trying to glare Deadpool to death.

"Dammit Wade, Fury told us to wait!" Agent Parker would've continued his tirade, but a squealing Darcy running right at him kind of derailed his train of thought.

"Spideeeeeeeeey!" The flying hug had her clinging like a spider monkey (pun intended), and Spiderman instinctively held on to make sure she didn't fall. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! You totally kicked ass last month by saving my best friend from this creep when she was coming to visit! I mean Lori could've frozen the bugger all by herself, but it was so sweet of you to do it when she always feels guilty about it afterwards." Darcy gave him a kiss on the cheek and let go to stand on her own two feet. "Spidey and Darcy sitting in a tree~ K-i-s- Mmh!" Clint and Darcy laughed as Deadpool tried to claw off the webbing on his mouth, only to have his hands get stuck to the mask.

"It's not a good idea to tease me when I'm already mad at you Wade." Spiderman looked irritated while the still cheery ex-mercenary struggled for a moment before managing to pull off his gloves so that he could roll up the mask enough to speak. "Don't get your spandex in a twist Spider-babe! Good ol' Saint Nick won't put us on the naughty list just because we got here early and, even if he did, I'd still support you," there was a pause while Deadpool conversed with the boxes, "White would like to add that that was in a totally platonic way, even if Yellow's whining about passing up dat ass. Also, he'd like to call the author out on her bullshit by making the webs gag me through the mask." Now that he mentioned it, Clint was curious about how that worked, but he decided not too look too closely in case crazy was contagious.

"We are _not_ getting off topic. Fury gave us a direct order, which I had to break too so that the Avengers wouldn't shoot you by mistake, and now we're both probably in trouble!" Clint felt bad for the kid, because the only thing worse than a code F.F. (Furious Fury) was a P.P. (Pissed Phil) but, while the later was funny to say, he'd take excessive training missions over being forced to do paperwork any day.

"Ok, I am done worrying over this. It happened, we're here, and I found a fellow Puff, so there!" The elevator opened once more, this time admitting a surprised Steve and Bucky. "Hi guys, catch!" Deadpool threw a ball towards them, which exploded into glitter when Bucky caught it in his metal hand. "Tag, Bucky's it!" Steve laughed at the surprised look on Bucky's face, until a handful of glitter wound up in his hair. "Tag punk. Now _you're_ it!"

Bucky managed to make it across the room while Steve tried to shake the worst of it out. When he gave up on that, chaos reigned until the elevator opened up to reveal Loki and Tony, who took one look at the room and shrieked. "Why is there glitter everywhere?! Do you have any idea how long this will take to clean up?!" Darcy wiped at the glitter on her shirt and calmy walked up to the enraged genius. "Relax, your boyfriend has magic, remember?" She clapped her hand on his shoulder, "We're just playing tag, and you're it now by the way, no tag backs." Tony blinked in surprise before trying to get Loki, only to fall through his now intangible boyfriend.

"Cheater! No magic!" Loki chuckled, "Are you sure love? That could be a problem when it comes time to clean this up." Tony smiled as e got to his feet. "And you'll have a lot of trouble sleeping with cold feet on your back, all. night. long." With a cry of "No magic it is," the game resumed, with Loki now it and Thor looking longingly out of his terarium as he was set down on the table so that the antics could commence. At some point, Nat and Bruce arrived, with Bruce heading to the kitchen before he could be caught up in the chaos, while Nat took one look around and promptly stated that any glitter on their clothes would result in someone experiencing a widow bite. They were left in peace to enjoy the free entertainment while Clint, who was really tired of getting tagged over and over again, squirreled up into the vents for a break. He was laughing at Bucky, who'd slipped in the original pile of glitter and taken Deadpool and Darcy down with him in a tangle of limbs, when Fury finally arrived.

~THISISALINEBREAK~

*Present time Avenger's Tower Common Floor*

"J, what time did the email say we were supposed to have our meeting?" Tony asked. "It stated that there would be a mandatory Avenger's meeting tomorrow, at 10:00 am, to discuss the inclusion of two new trial members. There was also mention of a team building exercise to get everyone familiarized, and to deal with any possible friction that may be faced. If I may, sir?" Tony nodded for Jarvis to continue, "It seems as if most of the primary goals have been met: Agents Wilson and Parker were introduced to the team successfully, there were little to no issues faced when adding them to your already functioning dynamic, and the experience was positive for all those involved, with the exception of Mr. Odinson, who is still a frog."

All eyes were on Loki, who sighed dramatically. "My brother will have his form back by day's end, but no sooner. Hopefully this reminder to contain his exuberance will actually stick." With a wave of his hand, the glitter was collected and dumped into the trash. "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to actually have a meal with my intended, since there seem to be no other plans for dinner." Tony jumped up from where he was sitting, to be teleported away in a flash of green.

"It's leftover night for me!" Darcy picked up the terarium and dashed to the elevator, "See you guys, and enjoy the rest of the cleanup!" She ignored all cries of protest as the elevator doors shut, and smiled happily down at Thor. "Sorry that things turned out this way big guy, it wasn't part of the plan. Since we're here though... Jarvis, initiate C.O.D. Black Ops protocol." The elevator paused mid floor. "All cameras and recording devices are off for the next 2 minutes Ms. Lewis," Jarvis stated, sounding much more robotic than normal.

"Thank you. Now Thor," her voice took on a decidedly hard edge, "I believe it's time we had a little _chat_." He gave a nervous croak as he was lifted to eye level, because even Loki at his most unstable had nothing on the glare Darcy leveled him with. "Jane is the sister I never got to have as a kid. She looks out for me, and I look out for her. Last night, my sister came to my room crying because you weren't listening to what she was trying to tell you, and it was very important to her. This is the second time, by the way, over the same issue. Now I promised her that I would let it go, and I will, once this has been made very clear: you get your shit together, because if she ever comes to me in tears over any problem more than that, then you'd better have a very good reason. I'm not above meddling if it means she stays happy, and you will find out first hand how far I can cram a stilletto heel up someone's ass if you don't. If I ever need to mention this talk again, the consequences will not be pretty. Am I clear?" Thor gave a small croak, "Good, because I actually like you, and you usually make Jane so happy, which is why you got a warning in the first place." 

The elevator started moving again, and Darcy left the now open terarium inside of Jane and Thor's bedroom. After she was safely ensconced in her own room, she let out a laugh.

"Thanks for the assist Jarvis, the robotic voice sealed the deal!"

"My pleasure Ms. Lewis, it isn't often that I get to help with pranks. For some reason, most don't actually ask to utilize my skills." Some would worry about how human and amused the AI sounded, but Darcy was 99% sure that she'd get a heads up if he went Skynet because she'd never even considered hurting Tony.

"They don't know what they're missing out on dude. After all, why use a shovel when you've got acid and a bathtub?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool: Whoop, there it is!  
> Me: How the heck did you even get in this fic?!  
> Deadpool: *looks at script* Alicat54c's Spideypool made you reconsider your OTP, Starkbucks, but you won't write either yet because you want to practice on other pairings first.  
> Darcy: I'm just glad I got to be hyper AND have a working brain. I hate it when people make it so I only operate and rock due to crazy.  
> Me: I know! You've got the potential to be devastating, even if I don't usually write you. Heck, you said it yourself that you're Slytherin's Luna.  
> Deadpool: So am I Hufflepuff's Luna?  
> Me:... *looks at the note length* This is getting too long, so we'll have to answer questions like that in another fic, k?  
> Deadpool: But-  
> Me: Another. Fic. You even get screen time in the crack chapter of Context (Can Be Cruel and Kind).  
> Deadpool: Fiiiiiiine. I'm just gonna leave this here. *opens sack of rabid plot bunnies*  
> Me: I'll friggin' kill you!  
> Deadpool: I'm immortal~


End file.
